Selfish / Corrupt

I wanted to be emapthic with others on the subject. I wanted to show concern and thoughts dedicated. 

But that isn't what I did. I was selfish. And I let it swell and rot. Fester. I knew it would corrrupt and just watched as it approached like an old friend. 

I know I do wrong. And it disturbs me that it doesn't disturb me. I don't feel broken around this and other things; I feel right. As if made for this. 

Why do I get to have them both while others experience loss? Why are my 'sins' being rewarded? Why do I feel like I'm being pampered and prepped for greater, glorious things?

Who made these rules? Are they sane?

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