Female Rejection.

People so often wonder why I am adamant against the death penalty. Why I don't like retaliation against pedophiles and war criminals to be death and emotion-filled vengeance. It's because of the accidental deaths, the dare-say innocent deaths. Those that weren't necessarily at the fault of anyone but life itself. That things happen. Silly things, sad things. Such negative thoughts, emotions, and desires to inflict the same finality on anyone as one merits through accidental, life's happening means should be treated in the same way. Maybe it is my Native American heritage? A reverence for all life, no matter how cruel or unusual that life could of been. It is reason number 2,308,308 that I dislike religious concepts. Of deities that allow someone, anyone to die. The paradise without suffering that could of been achieved for everyone in those myths, and the fact we all have to deal with such tragedy. I have lost another child, in concept. Dipstick "Dippy Doo" Ca...

Sarak understood. It terrified him, but only angers me. I don't like the control being out of my hands, but at least in most cases it is in someone else's hand and direction. Whatever is lulling me into this vile, confusing dimension has no intentions or purpose. It's chaotic. The very bane of my being and unmaker of my 'soul'. It only gets worse as the days continue on, as the daydreams pass into nightmares and the emotions suffer me as a fishing yacht caught in Poseidon's wrath.  I would contemplate how people deal with such awkward and illogical dictations of the body... But I know this is foreign, even to the weak-willed around me. This isn't normal. It's out of control. It's a demon attempting to dissuade me, but from what is the prevalent question. Does it just want to torment, to 'watch the world burn' as it were? Does it seek to set my fury and vengeance upon the universe? I cannot fathom as such, since that would be impossible. The o...

I'm still just as socially inept as I was decades ago. I try to convince myself otherwise, demonstrate that I scour about with the locals and 'friends' on frequent occasion. That I am more sociable than I was in time's past, but every so often I get something to slap the truth in my face and wake my delusion. And yet, even in my ignorance to the nuances of social life and associating with people other than from my imagination, I find that my baser truths remain. I am an honest liar. I am a manipulative compassionate. I am not as rough and aggressive as I present in general facade. So should it come to any surprise that people confuse my outward presentation for something negative? Should I be misunderstanding to my character traits being attacked while those same traits in others are completely oblivious and ignored by my attacker? Should I tolerate such a thing? I find that while my answer is no, that I should not tolerate such insanity... I just don't give a damn....