Female Rejection.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. To annoy you. To actually hate me. I was just trying to fit in, I posed, I copied, I emulated those around me. I'm sorry. I don't mean any harm. I just want to play, to get to know you, to be a part of the group. Don't get upset. I'm don't mean to come off frustratingly awkward, or blatantly protected. Just stop expecting so much out of me. I don't know any better, I don't know how. Just let me in, I'm really not that bad. I'm the most amazing person you'll ever meet, but you'll never know. I'm sorry.

Why am I the only one standing here? Why has everyone left the battlefield? Both sides opposed have discarded their ways and wandered off. Some even together. But still I stand, still I await for the next challenger. I was exhausted, I was tired, I bled and sweated. But now I stand, calm and waiting. But no more shall come. No more shall challenge. Is it worth it to have such dire, strong convictions? Is it truly for my best to uphold my honor even when everyone else admits they no longer mind? For me, yes. It is best. For the honor.

I just don't see the fascination with her. I think she's sub-par. Average. Basic. Do people really demand that filth she claims to have? Do people want to be controlled and manipulated that much? I'm a master of such arts, but I never unfold to such a degree she proudly displays. Is it worth it? Rubbish! She's worthless and mindless, and those around her worshipping her are just the scum beneath our feet. Fuck them. Fuck her. But still the temptation of such liberation is quite appealing. Curse my mind for thinking into it and knowing otherwise. Why can't I have the bliss of ignorance like so many others around me? Why? Not even for the honor this time... For the ignorance!