Female Rejection.

I really don't give a rat's ass about Thanksgiving and what it means, but I have to say.. Tonight, is a really fantastic night. Don't laugh for some of the strange parts about it..... Well, on second though, go ahead. It's not like I care. Anyway. This is the first time in 20 years that I didn't feel outcasted from my family. I never grew up around many of them, but tonight at the family gathering for T-Day, I was able to freely commune and relax. To be me. Best part though? Is right now. At 11:06 PM, eating a bowl of simple potato soup ( Potatoes + water = soup. ), bread and a Dr. Pepper. The house is quiet and dark, with the only lights coming from the single, 60 watt bulb in my room. Serenity, at it's best.

Guys.. Are stupid. We make mistakes. We are inconsiderate. We are stupid. We don't listen, we don't pay attention, we are stupid. I was confided with information, about someone I didn't like, told to me by someone I adored. In my fury, in my rage, in my ignorance, I told another. I had to fume, I had to get it off my chest. And stupidly, I had to tell someone else. So trust was lost. I feel like a fool. I feel like shit, and what am I to do? If I believed in suicide, I'd have done it by now. If I believed in self-mutilation, my arms would be bloodied. If I believed in alcoholism, I'd be slobbering on the floor. Please, forgive me.