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Showing posts from January, 2007

Solipsism.

Where is it all going? Why is the insights to the triangle of time, blurry and blank? White and unseen. Why can I not foretell my future? Why can I not remember my past? Where am I? Do I know what I want, am I able to grasp it, do I want to share it with others? Is it all worth it? ..... .......... Yes, it is.

Da-Da-Daddo. a.k.a. nega-hero.

I'm not sure how I get into these kinds of thoughts. Memories and off-track dreams. It's funny how solitary confinement will do that to you. Let you talk to yourself, think and envision without any guiding environmental reactions. Bringing up doubts and fears that I've never had before. I'm fearless, aren't I? Aren't I a man? Am I not an intelligent and unique? As the song goes, "Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile". This mental battle, epic and bloody. I just want to break away, I guess. Get away from all the familiar and comfortable, and start anew. And I fucking hate change, and yet here I am longing for it. Nothing is bad about what I have, I love it. I'd hate to move it. And yet.. Sometimes I want something different. I want to go back in time. I want to rewrite aspects of my life. Lead it in a different direction. I just want to tell myself, 'Fuck you'. Is that so wrong? To call yourself a fake, a liar, a fraud? Someone s...