Female Rejection.

It's me. I want to kill someone. Just put my hands, around their neck, squeeze the life out of them, and choke them to the floor until their last moments of life is spent glanced up at me. I want people to see this murder, to step back in fear and surprise. I want fear, I want power, I want order, I want obediance. I want control. Maybe it is my manipulative ways getting to me. Slowly turning me insane. I haven't a clue. I think I need help, but I don't want to ask anyone for it. I want to cuss and insult people. Friends, just say that I can do it to them, to be friendly. I don't want to make them cry. I am so deranged right now, I can say the things to have them on their knees in tears, willing to take their own life. Where is this anger coming from? Why am I doing this to myself? Something is bothering me. I want to let it off my chest, but there isn't a legal way in this world to do it. I just can't kill someone. And I can't start cussing and abusin...

I hate lesbians. I hate you. I hate to itch. Fuck you. No, I don't seriously hate those things. Or do I? Hell if I know. I hate things. I hate everything. Fuck all of you. Life sucks. Let me end yours. alfjdksjafk I want to type, I want to explain. But.. Afkjsadkf asdjfksdajf FUCK YOU! GARSDKJFSA Can't get it out. Not anger. Not depression. Something else. Why am I posting this shit?

One who is affected with a personality disorder marked by antisocial behavior. Why does this sound so much like me? Scary.

I confuse people. They believe the world is a 'scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours'. Which, to the general populace, it is. I'm not included. They expect from me, that I will return favors, and I do. But then they expect me to make demadns upon them, when I help them in any situation. I don't. I do things, as charities. I give, and do not recieve in payment. I leave people in debt to me. They whimper and whine, beg and differ, but regardless, I do not take up claim of that debt. Why? So that if I ever decide to be aligned with the general populace for a short time, I have people indebted to me. Some say money is power. But it isn't. The lack of money is power. For when you are in lack of money, you go into debt to someone. That one, whom you are in debt to, has power. You'll do things to repay them, you'll give them things, help with things, obediant and subservant. My slaves. You gutter-puppies.

I've swallowed my pride, given my apologies, and still retain my honor. Can you say the same?

I hate being in the middle of a dramatic affair. Erica and Davo, just't don't understand. I don't trust anyone. So naturally, I don't trust either of them. Yet they try to put a burden of dishonor upon me for having not trusted them. They assume I trusted the other, and not them. No, I didn't trust either of them. Why? This is a textbook case of a domestic dispute, that is why. MP training taught me that, at least. Both assume they are the one being wronged, the other is lying out of their teeth, and that I should take the other away or correct the other's problems. The problem is, I'm just tired of it. So screw both of you. Bicker and fight amongest yourselves. I'm quite happy being alone, are you? Now, if either of you still want to talk, feel free. You know I won't bring up mention to it. Hell, as always, I'll act like nothing has even happened. I told you numerous times before, and show a strong conviction towards such mannerisms. I hat...

"But of course... whenever I started making her daughter realize its wrong to be a slut and a worthless druggie... she got pissed and told me to go away." He can read this. I don't care. This is just the last straw for me. I can't stand drama, you all know I can't. It's why I have strived to become a police officer. To stop drama. I hate people, I hate all of you. Fucking get over it, and stop this crap. And damn it.. This sucks. I am known for giving advice. Some of you may argue that point, but I know I am. I do it all the time, to people you all don't even friggen know. And yet, I was in need of advice. I asked my father what to do. I'm stuck in a rock and a hard place. What am I to do? Who should I drill between the eyes? He is unstable. He takes after his mother in a relationship. He doesn't know what to do, when it all goes well. He breaks down, and goes wild. He needs to learn to grow up, people are leaving him, moving on. 10 years ...

You want me? You want my attention? Too bad, not going to give it to you. Only going to give you a reconsideration. A new hope, a possibility of interaction. I'm going to give you, a link. http://www.livejournal.com/users/InverteDisorder/ Yes, a link, to another form of blog service. You may like it. You may not. I haven't a care in the world. It is what I use, it is what you must abhor but stand to interact. Enjoy, or loathe. No care of mine, you aren't offering anything of substantial value to me.